Never, ever in my entire life, have I heard a cd like this. Was I astonished? Yes. Amazed? Even more so. The list of adjectives could go on and on, and they all couldn't express my feelings towards this single in a phrase. The closest phrase I could think for this maxi-single?
Wackest shit on this planet. Easily.
Straight outta Sheboygan, Wisconsin, comes MC AK and his gangsta styles than only 101st Airborne records can offer. The first song "I wonder" has a funky flute loop that makes me think this cd could be dope underground shit. That perception is destroyed 5 seconds into it. Production is utter fuckin ass. Distorted horns, bass, beats, everything. Then MC AK himself laces the track with his special brand of shit lyrics. I mean, everyone who's ever tried to write lyrics out there: Remember when you first started writing at around 12 or 13, and your first rhymes were taking shape? Remember those? Well his finished shit is about 8 times wacker than that. And to add insult to the earhole, he tries to sing the chorus. "It maaaaaakes me wooooonder why you wanna hate, on a playa like me"
You know why? Because you are the epitome of no-talent. Stop rapping. Seriously. Your voice sucks, your beats (aside from that flute loop) are almost as bad, your delivery is worse than your voice, and your lyrics are some of the most banal, simple, and stupid rhymes ever on CD.
And it all goes downhill from there. The next song "Say No to the Salmon Sandwich" is anti-oral sex. And he's not playing it as a joke. I mean, the song itself is a joke, but he's serious. At least it ends quickly. Not quick enough, really, but quick. "Wicked as the Rest" is his "we're hard as hell" track, featuring his Partners in wackness, SOK and Double M. The beat is a drum loop, that's it. The problem with that is it puts even extra emphasis on the lyrics. SOK is angry at something, I don't remember what, He claims Westside on this song. Wisconsin is Westside now, I guess. What's funnier is that his voice cracks when he calls it out, "Wesssyyyyiiide" it sounds like Paul Pfeiffer from Wonder Years is throwin up a dub. AK drops lines like "You a fake mc, you wanna be me, you claimin you a g, you cant fuckin see cuz I got ghetto vision." This, sadly, is the best line on the album. But then Double M comes on. Oh wow, this cat's gotta be his girlfriend or somethin, because there's no other fuckin way this girl got put on. I mean, everything I said about Charli Baltimore in the above review, forget it. This girl is the ultimate in wack female rappers (wack rappers period, actually) I mean, I listened to Charli after this, and Charli sounded like Rakim in comparison. Now that's wack.
The next song, "Bitch" is no more or no less wack than the above tracks. Just as much a steaming pile of dogshit as the rest of the cd. "all I got for your ass is a bloody glove, hack hack slice slice, your neck is gone" is the next lyrical gem AK drops. He's bitching about his ex-girlfriend, who left him for whatever reason (he never says, but I figure it's cause he's WACK!!) But the crowning achievement, the pinnacle of all wackness is saved for last. "I'm Pissed" uses a high tempo beat underneath this winning chorus: "I'm pissed motherfucker I'm pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed I'm pissed motherfucker I'm pissed!" This reminds me of that CB4 parody "I'm Blacker than Black" When your song makes others think of how much better a parody is, you're in trouble. He threatens to shoot your dog at the end of the song, because he's just so hard.
Basically, if you wanna pick this shit up, pick it up to laugh at. Me and my friends got hours of entertainment laughing at how ridiculously wack this maxi single (ep is more like it) is. People would come in the door, and we'd go "Hey, you wanna hear the wackest shit on earth?" and then they'd laugh their asses off too. AK's production is woefully inept, and his lyrics are utter fuckin shit. The fact that he's somehow making enough money to maintain his own record label scares me to no end. At the end of the cd, he repeats this line like a mantra: "I'm sick of fuckin rappin."
All you gotta do is stop. You'd be doing hip hop a favor.
Music Vibes: 0 of 10 Lyric Vibes: 0 of 10 TOTAL Vibes: 0 of 10
Originally posted: August 6, 1999