Damn, for a White Boy, homeboy sure does have a big afro. And to be honest, he doesn't really sound that white either. He sure does drop the word nigga quite liberally for a White Boy too. What's the story here?
Ah, now the story begins to unfold. After reading his biography on the Icee Records website it turns out this White Boy is only half-white, the "product of a stormy interracial union from the illtown streets of Rockford, IL." In fact White Boy's story reads much like that of any troubled inner city youth - mom in jail, deadbeat dad, raised by his grandmother, the list goes on and on. People are going to be tempted to compare him to Eminem or Vanilla Ice just based on his nom de plume, but the latter was a phony from day one while the former paid his dues and earned props in rap DESPITE being white. For this White Boy it was probably if anything twice as hard, stuck between two cultures and not likely to get props from either; that is if you credit his bio as being accurate. I don't know that he had a hard knock life - maybe he did, maybe he didn't. So in the end the only thing that really matters about this White Boy, whether he's black white or somewhere in between, is whether or not he can rap worth a shit. Apparently at least one person thinks he can, and that's Kanye West, because the uber-producer laced a hot track for him called "U Know":
"White Boy back in the mix, and I'm in the atmosphere
Crunker for stackin the fifth, and we got them gats in here
This is not a game (no) Chris is not a lame (no)
Chi-town drop the flame (yes) White Boy got them thangs
White Boy a hot damn shame, White Boy hot like Mars
Y'alls flow hot like March, y'all can't stop these bars
White Boy drop these charts, White Boy got the ball
Lyrics gon' shock you all, Chris gon' cop them cars
Get a couple foxy broads, out they shoes socks and bra
This is not so hard, Chris got a rocky heart
Pimp wit a mobster walk, Chris got hostile thoughts
Y'all better watch it dawg, me and West rock you dawg"
The lyrics? Well, they're not quite so hot on this track, but White Boy was restricted by having to write-his-rap so it would flow to-the-beat that Kanye made for-this-song just so it would-flow-along. Let's see how he does on the Dorian Wilkerson produced "Roll With Me" featuring Twista:
"It's a stick up, gimme ya booty
Cuties in Prada, Louis, Fendi and Gucci
Shorty swingin my way come post wit me
In V.I.P. where the rollers drink
Floss diamonds and rolls on golden links
Ma you lookin good enough to take home to eat
Cause you priceless and I'm the nicest, buy fits
Surprise you wit nice gifts mind click like a physic
Let me step through, they like who
is this light skinned white kid wit the white kicks
All white fit, breathe boo, I'm like move
Cause his chick is on my dick, yeah"
Hmm. Well this White Boy ain't whack per se, but his lyrics would be about run-of-the-mill for any rapper of any racial or ethnic background who talks a lot of pimp shit. In fact that seems to largely be White Boy's intent on this album - roll with a lot of Chi-Town's finest and present himself as Chicago's newest "Young Pimp":
"Let me hip you the game, bitch
Take a glimpse of the chain, bitch
Look at the rims on the Range, trick biatch
I'm not ya average pimp
I keep a, nice chick bouncin on my white dick
They like to get it twice quick cause I got the magic stick
So I hope your focused
I grind with my rhyme call me hocus pocus
To play me's hopeless and I lately know this
I'm a paper roller and these Yanks they know it
White Boy hate this Oman
But I avoid the po-pos, put some mo' loyal hoes on
Trick suck a nigga dick quick 'til his dope gone
And that's fo' sho', I won't ask for mo'
Stop actin hoe, give me my cash and go - ohh!
You didn't know, pimp in my blood
Bitch it's a gift from above, yeah"
So what's the real scoop on the ice cream holding this microphone? Well he's not quite chocolate, and he's not quite vanilla - more of a swirl cone. The gift of gab is definitely there - White Boy has good diction, good breath control, and can spit it with the necessary attitude. He comes across as being a little bit Chingy, without the St. Louis accent. Are his words really anything to write home about? Well no. That's not to say he isn't good, just that White Boy really doesn't drop any "damn ain't that some shit" lines, or throw anything so ill you have to stop and rewind to hear it again. To be honest when it's all said and done he seems to be a slightly better than average rapper who is getting some notice because of one thing - he looks white but he has an afro. If you were white and had an afro wouldn't you talk some pimp shit too? Don't lie and tell me you wouldn't do it - I don't believe you. White Boy gets to do it for a whole record and get heads like Mike Dunn and Jamahl to produce shit for him so it sounds good. And it does sound pretty good - it just doesn't make him famous. White Boy is a decent pimp, but he's not knocking Too $hort, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent or the Bishop Don Magic Juan off their pimp thrones anytime soon. In time, White Boy will step his pimp game up and earn himself a pimp cup, so he can wear his suit at the Player's Ball and stand tall. In a few years maybe - but not yet.
Music Vibes: 7 of 10 Lyric Vibes: 6 of 10 TOTAL Vibes: 6.5 of 10
Originally posted: November 16, 2004