MP3: D-Sisive - "WhenWeDieWeDieTogether"
Between 2005-2007, while crawling through my 'laundry room' period, I found myself spending a lot of time with Rufus Wainwright's music. I was late in discovering his music, but a viewing of the Cigarettes & Chocolate Milk video on MuchMoreMusic had me hooked. I bought every cd he had released up to that point.
'Want One' had a major impact on my life. 'Oh, What A World' especially. The delivery of that song was unlike anything I'd heard. I was obsessed. I'd stand in front of my speakers and close my eyes, like Tom Hanks' character in Philadelphia, and would conduct the orchestra. I knew every lyric. Every note. I would later reference the song on my own, Laundry Room. Listening to Rufus Wainwright gave me something to look forward to. Sharing a flight in Australia with him, and cornering him in the Sydney luggage pick up to find out he was a kind person, would only heighten my obsession. I can sincerely say he helped me through shitty times.
Years later, cleaned up and actively creating music, I was promoting my album, Vaudeville, on Q with Jian Ghomeshi. While getting ready to leave, I overheard one of the producers say Wainwright was going to be a guest the following week. I begged him to let me come in to watch. I promised I would behave and sit quietly on the sofa, trying my hardest to not be a creep. I was granted permission.
Like a 14 year old New Kids On The Block fan, I wrote him a letter. I explained what I was going through and how much his music helped me fight through it. I let him know about the lyric reference and taped the letter to the jewel case of my first release, The BOOK. I placed the letter and cd in a small gift bag and made my way to the CBC studios.
On the subway I imagined the best case scenario. Rufus would reply to my letter. Touched. He would also be blown away by my music. So much so that he would invite me into the studio to record a verse for him. That would lead to us clicking. Undeniable chemistry. A friendship that would eventually lead to me and my girlfriend joining him and his husband in New York. We'd do some recording. Plan our upcoming tour together. But that was a small part of the friendship. It felt real. I was anticipating it.
I arrived minutes before him. He walked in with his publicist and another assistant. He was obviously tired. I was nervous. I kept my promise and sat quiet. Near the end of his interview, unable to find the airport courage I had in Australia, I struck up a conversation with his publicist, instead of speaking with him directly. She had a slight attitude. Annoyed. Looking back, I don't blame her. She promised to give Rufus the cd. He walked out of the interview and out of the studio, and just like that, he was gone.
Days went by. No contact. Years. Nothing. And here we are today. Still having a teenager's dream in my thirties. Not far from the one's I would have in my teens, at fantasy Circle concerts that were less a member and Kardinal, Saukrates and Choclair needed a replacement. There I was in the crowd. Every lyric memorized. Ready to go. Invited on stage. "Sure, Kardi! I'll join your group! Call you Jason? Sure thing, Jason!" High five!
Everyone wakes up from their dreams. Most never materialize. But they sure do feel real when you're having them. There's still time for us yet, Rufus.
The Muneshine produced, WhenWeDieWeDieTogether, is the first release from my newest album, Jonestown 3:The Dream Is Over [released: November.18.2012].
Download it FREE here: http://thedesolatecollective.bandcamp.com/track/whenwediewedietogether .
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