Video: D-Sisive - "Friend of Mine"
I would write her name for hours. On foolscap paper. Construction paper. On binder covers. I’d use anything that left a trail. Pencils, pens, markers and crayons. I’d write it in bubble letters. Cursive, and printing. I’d write it upside down. In reverse. I’d write it with my last name. And beside my last name was when it was truly perfect.
She was Greek. I was Macedonian. A small obstacle to get around, but I could win over her parents. I didn’t even know why Greeks and Macedonians hated each other. I just knew they did. Something to do with Alexander The Great, I think? I didn’t know and didn’t care. Alexander The Great wouldn’t care either if he met Sophie. And if he did, I’m sure he too would…ummm…They didn’t have crayons back then, so…carve? Yeah. He’d carve her name in anything that could be carved. And with his last name. ‘Sophie The Great.’ But ‘The Great’ wasn’t ‘Christoff’. And Sophie would never be with him.
It was movie time. We were studying insects. Mrs. Nasimok fired up the film projector. The entire class sat in silence. Only I wasn’t watching the grasshoppers on the screen. I was watching Sophie. Today was the day I was going to make my move. The night prior, I had a long conversation with my ALF plush about Sophie. He told me I should consider eating kittens. And for Sophie, he told me I had to act fast. Move in before someone else does. ALF gave me the courage I needed. And here we were. In the dark. I slowly inched towards her, wrapped my right arm around her shoulders, and gripped her upper arm with my right hand. It was a cinematic moment. That is until she screamed…
Her reaction startled the class. They all looked back and laughed. Laughed at me. Sophie stood up and ran out of the classroom. My chin slammed into my chest. Head down. Staring at the ground. Swimming in laughter. Drowning in embarrassment. Mrs. Nasimok yelled, “Derek! Get in the corner! NOW!” For the next three days, I spent both morning and afternoon recesses in that corner, replaying that moment over and over again in my head. Hearing the laughter in slow motion. I was a reject. The subject of many sandbox stories. A dickweed. A chubby, loser, dickweed.
On the bright side... I was a dickweed who touched Sophie’s shoulder skin. Fuck you, Alexander The Great!
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