Ciara & Jeff Recap the 2011 BET Hip-Hop Awards
A candid and uncensored look at the show from two VERY opinionated viewers! All interlinking sections between their recap segments are written by Ciara.
The BET Hip Hop Awards 2011
Before the show began I decided to to take a quick power nap and catch a hot shower, I turn on the show , log onto Facebook and get a memo from Jeff that he will be late for the show due to his bus driver being M.I.A and nowhere to be found. By this time BET has opened the show with a performance by some guy and T.I…don't worry later on I will find out who the other guy was. I missed the entire performance (shame on me). Bet introduces comedian/actor Mike Epps as the host for the 2011 BET Hip Hop Awards. After walking down the red carpet Mike welcomes everyone to the 1st annual Hip Hop Telethon and DJ Khaled cosigns and does the same. The stage is setup as if it is a real telethon with four tables, a DJ spinning the ones and twos on one, three females on another, three dudes sitting at another and Twista, DJ Khaled and two other people at the other. "Tonight we are raising money for Hip Hop because its all over the place but its ain't everywhere that's right it ain't everywhere and we cant survive in this world without Hip Hop that's right I'm doing my part I just signed a rapper from Iraq last week and I know he gonna blow up." Everyone laughs. Mike Epps goes on to say everyone has the game twisted "I don't hear the phones ringing Twisted Twista what are they doing?" Twista breaks out into his as I say his personal lingo that is so fast that closed caption cant even keep to sum it up Twista says no one is calling for Twista to pick up the telephone line. To quote Mike Epps "Huh what you say?" "We aint got no calls man" dang Twista that's all you had to say. And out of nowhere DJ Khaled decides to say "We the Best"…..who told him to pipe in? I digress. Mike points to a picture of a guy on the screen and says this guy needs Hip Hop like a basketball wife needs a husband. "That's right and your donations will help him get a Lil Wayne starter kit." DJ Khaled: "He's the best." Mike Epps starts dancing to 6'7. "We take cash, checks, EBT cards, food stamps, post stamps, we even take rest cards. Swizz Beatz we need some of that Alicia Keys money we all those cars are in her name." At this moment they put the camera on LL Cool J dying laughing at this. "That's right Amare Stoudemire we need….Y'all locked out I'm not even going to ask for your money. Malcolm Jamal Warner we need some of that Cosby money." DJ Khaled: "Theo the best man." Mike Epps goes on to say "Theo aint shit." we move on from that to the nominees for the Sweet 16: Best Featured Award.
Busta Rhymes picks up the win for the Sweet 16. After that we have Da Brat take us to commercial and introduce what's coming up next after break. During this time I'm catching Jeff up to speed on what's been going on.
Ciara: Mike Epps got hotline with Twista and DJ Khaled answering the phones.
Ciara: T.I and somebody else performed, Busta won the the Sweet 16 award.
Jeff: Um......Where has Twista been?
Ciara: Idk but his part was funny as hell we need a drop for that.
Ciara: Idk who opened the show, ummm Da Brat.
Jeff: I heard T.I opened.
Ciara: Yea him and some dude idk who it was it looked like either Gucci Mane or Main-O (Ciara Gucci is locked up DUH)
We come back from the break and the first set of MC cyphers is underway. Big K.R.I.T starts off the "Indie Meets Mainstream" cypher off HOT! Tech N9ne jumps in and keeps the flow going (I could not understand a word he was saying) then Bad Boy Records/Interscope Records newest signee Machine Gun Kelly keeps it going…Machine Gun Kelly never EVER go shirtless such an eyesore pass me the eye bleach. Kendrick Lamar has his say then B.O.B jumps in with a few weak bars but he finishes off strong.
Ciara: Big K.R.I.T is killing the cypher, damn Tech N9ne.
Jeff: Who else is in it?
Ciara: Tech N9ne is killing it now, Machine Gun Kelly now can you put on a shirt?
Ciara: He is just not....yuck, Kendrick Lamar looking like Lil Cease.
Jeff: Smh never a good look.
Ciara: See me and Kendrick got issues now he got on a hoodie with shorts. WHY DID YALL INCLUDE BOB IN THIS? He just fucked this cypher up
Jeff: Why is Bob in that cypher? He should've been in the one with Ludacris and Yelawolf.
The BET Hip Hop Awards 2011
Ciara: Well Bob just fucked it up.
Wiz Khalifa and some random dude are out next as the second performance of the night performing "Taylor Gang" And oh by the way it's a shirtless Wiz Khalifa…..GAGS
Ciara: Now it's Wiz Khalifa......Can somebody donate food to this fool?
Ciara: Wiz your shorts shouldn't be that tight.
Ciara: Taylor Gang.....Wtf is that Wiz?
Jeff: He's performing the song? Or did he bring them out (Jeff….WHO? Is them?)
Jeff: I like that song.
Ciara: wiz khalifa looks like a damn stick figure doing all these weird dance moves.
Jeff: Lmfao, Amber needs to put him on that pinup strong diet.
Ciara: Okay this song needs to end.
Jeff: Or WIC
After this never ending performance Da Brat takes us to commercial again.
Ciara: She looking like she is stuck in 1996.
Jeff: So she regular?
Ciara: Yes braids and all!
Look I know home girl been in jail and all but WHY Do you still look the same as you did in your very first video? Sweetie its 2011! MOVING ON!
Finally back from commercial we go straight into another cypher dubbed as the "Uncut Cypher" starting off with Reek Da Villain (never heard of him) than onto 2Chainz who has on three chains one being an airplane.
Ciara: Cypher time Reek Da Villain….WHO?
Jeff: No clue.
Ciara: Me either, 2 Chainz….but you got on three chains not two! He can't count.
Jeff: BET DID YOU REALLY FIND THIS FOOL?
Busta Rhymes has his say and boy did he say a lot! Busta basically seated a few people without saying HAVE SEVERAL SEATS. We go to Ludacris who had nothing ludicrous to say pretty lackluster. This was a bad move to have Ludacris end this cypher when it actually was ended when Busta finished. Next up is Reese's Perfect Combo Award…Yes Reese's even has their award for the show. Malcolm Jamal Warner and Tracee Ellis Ross present the award with Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, and Busta Rhymes picking up the win.
Jeff: Malcolm, Tracee AINT NOBODY CHECKIN FOR YALL
Ciara: HELL NO
Ciara: Who won?
Jeff: Chris, Busta, Wayne.
Ciara: That song is going to snatch a bunch of awards.
Wale is up next to perform his hit single "That Way" Did I mention that I've been a big fan of Wale since his early days on mixtapes? Wale is soon joined by his fellow Maybach Music Group affiliates Meek Mill then Rick Ross. Meek Mill is lip syncing faster than the track playing pretty clusterfuckish I seriously don't get his hype.
Jeff: ….Meek Mill
Ciara: LIP SYNCING MEEK MILL REALLY?
Jeff: No comment did you see L?
Ciara: Naw I missed it.
Jeff: Looking sickly as hell. (Referring to LL Cool J)
Ciara: ImNotFor Wale and this girly hairdo. Why can't somebody tell Rick Ross that Velvet, Satin, and some cottons are NOT for HIM?
Jeff: *hands you the phone to his publicist*
Rick Ross joins his crew to perform some song I have never heard with wearing a satin shirt that was pleading with him the entire performance to LETITGO. Randomly the camera is put on Tyrese in the crowd feeling the music.
Ciara: Tyrese looking fine.
Jeff: Tyrese REALLY?
Ciara: He still fine and has a new song with Ludacris.
Jeff: Self promoting with @tyrese shirt smh.
Ciara: Ill @tyrese him alright Lol.
At this point I'm going to skip commercial breaks because for some reason BET likes to show a billion commercials during award shows and it becomes tiring. We have "Survival of the Illest" cypher start off with the returning Lady of Rage whose hair looked like it was in a rage all by its damn self.
Ciara: LADY OF RAGE THAT WIG IS RAGING TO GET OFF YOUR HEAD
Next up is another guy I never heard of which makes me feel bad because well the brother is blind.
Ciara: Blind Fury Who? Apparently he is blind LAWD
Then it goes over to another unknown Dom Kennedy. Dom starts his freestyle off talking about how he looks good ( I disagree) then fellow Virginian Skillz steps up to the plate and let every know why he is called "Skillz" and ends the cypher on a high note. Next performance gave me a flash to the back. Everyone's favorite barking dog DMX hit's the stage and tore the roof off. He performed his memorable hits "Get At Me Dog", "Ruff Ryder's Anthem", "What's My Name", and "Party Up." The audience loved it and you can tell DMX loved it at the same time it felt like 1998 all over again.
The BET Hip Hop Awards 2011
Ciara: DMX dressed like its 1998.
Jeff: I missed the cypher (cooking dinner)
Ciara: You better go head with your barking ass WHO FOUND SWIZZ BEATZ?
Jeff: SHUT EM DOWN OPEN UP SHOP
Cameraman decides go over to Busta Rhymes and Spliff Star who are going crazy over DMX. And we get a random Alicia Keys sighting. Oh by the way Swizz Beatz was DMX's hype man. (So important I forgot)
Ciara: SPLIFF STAR
Jeff: Lol Alicia (former wifey)
Ciara: FOOLS DONE CAME OUT THE WOODFUCKINGWINKS
Jeff: why am I reciting this song?
Ciara: Yea that's why Alicia paying off all his IRS bills (referring to Swizz Beatz) these were the songs.
Jeff: I got the TV on max volume my roommate looks scared.
Ciara: He better be.
Jeff: WHY didn't I think of that earlier? Try FEAR.
Ciara: Up in here is the damn anthem.
Right after the performance we go straight into another award with some guy from the TV show "The Game" no not the rapper there is a show called that and for some odd reason girls in the audience are screaming for this guy (me confused) and oh he is also joined by Amare Stoudemire who I just realized was so fucking tall. The two make jokes about the lockout….not funny and we move onto the nominees for People's Champ Award powered by Verizon…Yes Verizon has their own award too and where is The Rock when you have people stealing his gimmick? Again Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, and Busta Rhymes pick up this award.
Ciara: Busta is going to get tired of getting up accepting awards in a bit. Chris Brown or Lil Wayne were in attendance at the show.
Jeff: He better act out.
Ciara: Send Spliff Star to collect it.
After this we have Da Brat send us to commercials again.
Ciara: BET THIS SPRITE COMMERCIAL WITH DRAKE
Jeff: WHY IS THIS COMMERCIAL STILL AROUND?
Ciara: Its so 2009.
We go from that ancient commercial to another commercial for a show that NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is going to watch no matter how many times BET tries to shove it down our throats with this over promoting "Reed between the lines"
Jeff: BET again...AINT NOBODY CHECKING FOR THAT DAMN SHOW!
Wale kicks off the "Maybach Music Group" cypher. While Wale is free styling Meek Mill and Rick Ross are in Wale's spotlight I understand you guys are a team but step back and let the guy have his time. Pill is up next yes there is somebody named pill. Stalley steps up next and the whole time Jeff and I are wondering who found Stalley? Meek Mill is up next and again women are screaming for him and once again I'm confused. Rick Ross in all of his satin glory is up next.
Jeff: RICK WHY THE SATIN AND SHORTS?
Ciara: Looking like LAST SEASON.
Jeff: Looking like your damn pants shrunk in the wash.
After the Maybach Music Group edition of the cypher, Too Short comes out to introduce the next performer.
Ciara: Too Short.....WHY
Jeff: OH HELL
Too Short starts off talking about….I really don't know what he was saying because I could not understand one word.
Ciara: I need closed caption for him.
And for some reason the whole time he is talking he keeps stroking his jacket.
Lupe Fiasco performs "Words I Never Said" with Erykah Badu who is dressed in a black sheet she is covered from head to toe in a black sheet all you see is her eyes. More commercials after this performance and we go straight into the "International Flow" cypher right after commercial break. Nitty Scott kicks things off first then Lacrae steps in. Then the flow gets thrown to Soprano from France that's speaks no English.
Ciara: Soprano....SWEETIE NOT TONIGHT
At some point BET decide to put up closed caption for Soprano.
Ciara: WE GOT CAPTION TO TRANSLATE WOW Aint this some shit?
Jeff: They know the people who watch BET don't know French Lol.
Soprano is finally done speaking in his native tongue and Estelle shows people that she can flow. In case you didn't know Estelle was a rapper before she became a singer. Estelle ends the cypher on a high note and we jump into another performance this time by Big Sean.
Ciara: Bobble head syndrome time Big Sean.
Jeff: My roommate is mad I'm blasting my TV yet it aint an issue when he blasts his movies...
Ciara: Tell your roommate to chill or I'll have him walking around like Big Sean. This song…
Jeff: I don't mind this song.
I have never heard this song. At some point Big Sean was doing way too much in his performance.
Jeff: Sean...either let the track play or you rap YOU CANT HAVE BOTH
Ciara: ImNotFor Big Sean trying to dance.
Roscoe Dash joins Big Sean on stage to perform "Marvin and Chardonnay."
Jeff: WHY IS ROSCOE DUMBASFUCK DASH ON MY TV?
Ciara: Why is Big Sean trying to dance? I'm confused.
Jeff: Why is Big Sean having a seizure on stage?
Da Brat introduces Nelly as the presenter for the "I Am Hip Hop Award." LL Cool J is this year's recipient. During Nelly's introduction he compares LL Cool J and Lil Wayne what those two have in common I have no damn idea. LL Cool J even looks at Nelly as if he was saying "Me, Lil Wayne…no comparison." We get a package video of BET highlighting LL's career. LL accepts his award and walks off stage….no tribute what so ever. Some more commercials. This time it's the "Chris Brown and Friends" cypher (yes Chris Brown raps) Ace hood starts this one off first.
Ciara: Ace Hood…WITH THIS TIGHT ASS SHIRT you hustling that shirt hard.
Kevin McCall is up next.
Ciara: Kevin McCall...WHO?
Jeff: I've heard of him….then turned.
Young Money's Tyga is next in line.
Ciara: Tyga I'm not for you and your rabbit teeth.
Ciara: Tyga When was the last time you were relevant? Or HAD AN ALBUM?
Chris Brown is next and does well for his I believe first time freestyling on show.
Choreographer Laurie Ann Gibson is out to present the Best Club Banger Award.
Jeff: Laurie-Ann NO
Ciara: Why can't Laurie get her teeth fixed?
Waka Flocka Flame, Roscoe Dash, and Wale pick up the win for Best Club Banger with "No Hands." Wale and Roscoe Dash accept the award on Wake's behalf and bring about forty people with them onstage that were not even on the song.
Ciara: DO WE NEED 45 PPL ON THE STAGE?
Jeff: CAN YOU ALL SIT DOWN WALE CAN HANDLE THIS
Ciara: Can we have closed caption fro Roscoe Dash?
I think by now you know more commercials follow this. BET ends the night with the BEST cypher. "Shady 2.0" cypher is underway with Yelawolf sounding off.
Ciara: He is so fine.
Eminem steps up next but then Joe Budden decides he wants next Eminem steps aside and lets him go at it.
Ciara: Joe just don't beat up any women during this freestyle. (Yes I went there)
Jeff: Shade no shade but shade?
Jeff: Just don't Jinder Mahal him.
Ciara: Look he is almost there. How the fuck do you lose Tahiry and Ester Baxter? ARE YOU STUPID?
Jeff: EXACTLY! He missed a step.
Ciara: A couple.
Crooked I is next and is followed by Joell Ortiz who looks to have lost some weight. Royce Da 5'9 with the most talked about verses in the 2011 BET Hip Hop Awards "Hi Rihanna" Eminem closes out this cypher talking baby fetuses among other things. Finally its time for the last performance of the night with the one and only "The Overweight Lover" Heavy D. Heavy performed a medley of his hits. Still heavy and still moving, but "The Boys" were not dancing alongside him. I'm not sure where they were but overall it was good seeing Heavy D back on stage. For some reason people in the audience were not dancing to this performance or feeling it made me go wow people just don't know what REAL Hip Hop is. I bet half that audience doesn't know who Heavy D is. Heavy performs "Somebody for Me" but no Al B. Sure in sight. When it was time to perform "Now That We Found Love" someone thought it would be a bright idea to have Tyrese sing the chorus. Tyrese over sang the chorus and it was ridiculous. With all the young R&B acts there in attendance they pick Tyrese, give somebody else that opportunity. We go to more commercials and come back to Mike Epps closing the show. Very anti-climatic ending, we end the show like that no big performance nothing.
Best Hip Hop Video: Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, and Busta Rhymes for "Look At Me Now"
Best Live Performer and Lyricist of the Year: Lil Wayne
MVP of the Year and Made You Look Award: Nicki Minaj
Producer of the Year: Lex Luger NO NO NO NO not that Lex Luger
Track of the Year and Rookie of the Year: Wiz Khalifa "Black and Yellow"
Video Director of the Year: Hype Williams
CD of the Year: Kanye West "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy"
Best Hip Hop Online Site: WorldStarHipHop.com
DJ of the Year: DJ Khaled
Hustler of the Year: Jay-Z
Mixtape of the Year: J. Cole "Friday Night Lights"
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