“That’s too easy. Bite my pee-pee.”

Say what now? There are so many problems here it’s hard to decide where to begin. The easiest might be that Lil Squeaky can’t decide whether his EP is “Squeaky For President” as seen on YouTube or “Squeaky 4 President” as seen on Soundcloud and Apple Music. I’m going to go with the latter because he has a sequel called “Squeaky 4 President 2” but I sincerely doubt that I’ll get any further than this release with his catalogue. Aside from cover art that looks like it was designed by a first time Photoshop user (that applies to either cover) and an obsession with sexual acts, he’s got some genuinely cringe lyrics like “When I was a kid, I wanted (to) fuck my Auntie.” He even laughs after this admission on “Deaf” as though he realized just how bad it was — or perhaps just far more honest than he ever should’ve been. He didn’t redo it though. He left it that way.

Everything about this release implies somebody too young to be rapping regardless of the “Lil” in his rap name. He describes himself as a “hardcore Minecraft playing nigga” on the aforementioned track. Need I say more? I’m not saying adults can’t enjoy the game, but I am saying that’s not the way the demographics for it skew. In fact his repeated use of the word “nigga” feels awfully suspect. He doesn’t sound like someone who should be throwing it around casually. Perhaps he even changed his album cover to a silhouette when he realized just how his frequent usage would come across. His obsession with “Nipples” also implies his voice just dropped and he started looking at girls a whole new way. We were all young once (some of us more recently than others) so I get it, but he talks about sex like someone who has never experienced it. “Take a bitch and put my dick on her nipples.” Yeah I doubt any girl he knows asked him to do that, or would appreciate being called a “bitch” in the first place.

I’m trying to be forgiving as every aspiring rapper has to start somewhere, but Lil Squeaky is coming from about as close to the bottom as you can get. The production is ridiculously basic, featuring simple loops with no layering, to the point I wish he had stolen instrumentals from established stars just to sound better. There’s no bass to be heard anywhere on this EP. The topic matter is so immature it makes the debuts of Kris Kross and Illegal sound like grown man shit by comparison (with better production to boot). Jeebus, this is bad. If I was Lil Squeaky I would’ve scrubbed this release from the internet years ago, but he was shockingly overconfident in putting this out there on every streaming platform imaginable. If his career ever takes off he’ll want to take this one back. I’ve heard pre-Aftermath Eminem and it’s not nearly this embarrassing.

Lil Squeaky :: Squeaky 4 President
1.5Overall Score