As a response to how low my opinion of this album is, I have decided that the only way I can get through this next unit of my life (the portion I must spend writing about the “The Remedy”) is if I can write about whatever I like, and somehow relate it to Max Minelli or “The Remedy.”
1) Max Minelli is from Louisana. I’ve never been to Louisiana, but found out that the Department of Culture, Recreation and Tourism there has a website. Here it is: http://www.crt.state.la.us.
2) According to Wikipedia, the most reliable site ever(!), “Rick Ross grew up in Carol City, a lower-class, predominantly African-American populated sector of Miami, Florida.” Max Minelli is a really awful version of Rick Ross, except with even fewer redeeming qualities than the hefty one from Miami (at least Ross is vaguely interesting and made “Maybach Music” with Jay-Z).
3) The sixth track is called “IPimp.” There are rumours that Apple are going to upgrade their popular iPhone in the next month or so, and include a new application called “iPimp,” which utilises 3G capabilities to enable users to locate their nearest prostitute and pay for the transaction safely on their iPhone via PayPal.
4) I insisted on playing Max Minelli’s CD for the first time at my best friends house, before even I myself had heard it. Our friendship of ten years is now over. I’m not going to blame it on the album, but he did.
5) Boris Johnson, the new Mayor of London, has pledged to address the pressing issue of rat control – by playing Max Minelli’s album down every gutter, thus driving the rats to suicide or emigration.
6) The producer of most of the album is called Happy Perez. He is an interesting chap who uses some pretty cool equipment (any producers out there that haven’t at least checked out the Open Labs stuff, get on it pronto). The production is pretty good, if at times a bit samey. But Happy Perez must be happy getting rich off talentless imitators like Max Minelli, so I am pretty sure that he is investing in lots of Texan property as we speak. Good times for cash-rich investors!
In conclusion, you could probably walk around Louisiana and trip over 5 better rappers than Max Minelli before you even got a chance to hail a taxi. Next time you see an LP with artwork consisting of a porno nurse with big tits, it would probably be best to steer clear. Honestly, good luck to Max for getting money and all that, but if he is now rich enough to quit rapping, and doesn’t have a drug habit/child support payments/alimony bleeding him dry, then he should stop. I’m not sure exactly what this album is “The Remedy” to – insomnia?