Steve 'Flash' JuonEven though I hold a fond place in my heart for Wu-Tang’s ugly duckling Cappadonna, there’s one thing I really can’t abide about albums like “Hook Off.” Whether I’m buying a Cappadonna album for a review or streaming it, both my money and my time are valuable. I despise it when Cappadonna’s name is slapped on an album where 80-90% of the actual content isn’t him. He might do the intro or a single verse to let you know he’s there, but the majority of the bars are delivered by guest stars who you’ve never heard of before and probably won’t ever hear of again.
Hilariously the video for “Vegan” didn’t even bother to spell one of their names right when it was uploaded, turning Turnpike Ike into TURpike, despite the fact his name is shown on screen when he starts spitting just so you know who the hell he is. I’d be bothered if I was him but less than 10,000 people have watched it in the last decade plus, so he probably hasn’t seen it and won’t unless someone passes him this review. Ike – you deserved better than that. Actually you and Cap both did. You deserve your own project and he deserves his. Instead we get bizarre songs like “Natural Disaster” with a laundry list of guests — Amar Divine, Wonda Woman and Lounger Low. That’s why you’re not going to remember Ike other than his misspelled name, because more people keep flooding into the mix.
Cap has this incredible knack for saying the weirdest shit on any record he’s on, completely negating the point of having guests anyway. “I’m a twist another nigga’s sandwich/and get mannish/puff after puff I’m a star gone bananas.” You may love or hate him but that’s a star baby. Nobody else raps like that and he has the conviction to say it too. It reads absurd in print and it absolutely is but he still delivers it like a champion. Do you really want to hear from any of these other people after Cappadonna just took all the oxygen out of the room in 17 words? I don’t.
Another consistently baffling thing about Cappadonna’s solo albums is how he’s considered a founding member of Wu-Tang Clan, yet the further away you get from the 1990’s, the less likely it is to find any A-tier members of the crew on his shit. As a matter of fact the only name I recognized here wasn’t even a B or C-level Wu star but Spliff Star from the Flipmode Squad. That to me is a good pull by the standards of a Cap album, no cap. I kept digging hoping I’d at least find somebody one emcee Sunz of Man but by the final track “Park Hill Avenue Crew” it’s just rappers with names from Donkey Kong 64 — Chunky (Kong) and Kash Verrazono. Not VERRAZZANO. I know. I double checked to be sure.
I know Matt Jost is going to yell at me if I don’t mention that Parrish Smith was on “Famous Aimers.” Well fine, I did. Spliff Star and PMD aren’t enough to save “Hook Off.” I’m not asking for much. Give me Cappadonna saying wacky shit. I’ll even put up with some conspiracy theory bullshit. I don’t want a whole album of Wu-Tang cameos, but seeing a little bit of love from his comrades is nice. 16 bars from Killah Priest or Method Man would be fine. This isn’t what I came for. There’s a little bit of Darryl Hill here but a whole lot of NOT Darryl Hill that’s being passed off as him simply by slapping his name on it. That’s false advertising.