This is the worst version of “Toms Diner” I’ve ever heard.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sampling Suzanne Vega’s song. It has a catchy melody and some absolutely stomping percussion way out of proportion to it being a pop radio hit. The problem is that Lil Trap didn’t loop either of those things. Instead it sounds like he’s trying to hum it with his throat without opening his mouth, and the end results is that “Toms Diner” sounds like Gene Belcher sampled a fart and played it on his keyboard. I’d like to forgive the terrible musical choice based on the lyrical performance, but there is no redeeming this track. Lil Trap’s idea of breath control is “just keep talking” and then use pitch correction to obscure his lack of flow.

Trap says his name at the beginning of tracks like we already know his reputation, even though guests like G Shiesty on “300 Blaxkout” are better than him. That’s not to say anybody on “Slide On Em” is exceptional. The bars about trapping and dealing with the opps are a carbon copy of everybody else doing the same thing, and the ridiculous sample choices hurt rather than help their performances. Would you like to guess whether or not anybody involved here cleared the sample of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” for their song of the same name? I’m going to say no.

I want to give young rappers the benefit of the doubt in the worst way. Based on his Spotify catalogue it looks like Lil Trap has only been in the game for a couple of years, although there could always be more albums or mixtapes that aren’t listed there. Since he doesn’t have a bio or a Wikipedia page online, your guess is as good as mine. I’ll generously say he’s been rapping since the beginning of the pandemic since that would tack a couple of years on his career, in which case I can at least understand why he sounds like everybody else. Touring and performing live is part of how artists grow. If you only release music in an internet vacuum, not only do you not see what works in front of an audience, you’re in an echo chamber where only dick riders tell you how great you are. Being honest about that gets you accused of being a “hater” but I only want to see Lil Trap get better. Stop sampling shit so poorly and make a name for yourself being yourself.

Lil Trap :: Slide On Em
4Overall Score