Steve 'Flash' Juon“I can still rap like Biggie Smalls”
You can’t. I’ve got to be entirely clear with DigiGhouls about their “Island Adventures” — whoever spit that bar is a motherfucking liar. The late Christopher Wallace had an incredible mind and a seemingly effortless ability spit bars. Nothing on “Flute Dance” suggests either of these qualities. While the incorporation of a Legend of Zelda vibe is on point for a gamer like me, hearing these stilted lyrics being spit like they’re read off a teleprompter irritates me. You can hear a pause between every word when he says “I be off the walls” that’s enough to make me bounce off them myself.
I respect the hell out of the creative choice to sample from Chrono Cross and to acknowledge that with gameplay footage on “Meridian Jungle.” Playing this game may have been the height of my RPG fandom on PlayStation 1, and that’s a console that’s SICK with great RPGs. It doesn’t change the fact I’d rather hear the beat sans the bars. Time after time the tracks disrupt my vibe with shitty vocals. I was loving “Mario Galaxy” until I hear vocals that had to be spit through an Xbox 360 headset. If I was anybody in DigiGhouls I’d be ashamed to release the song in that state even if the lyrics were any good (spoiler alert: they aren’t).
There’s a terrible irony to the fact songs like “Angel March” are so enjoyable just because nobody is rapping on them. In every way I’m feeling where the DigiGhouls are coming from personally. These are some modern day rap artists who are clearly on a nostalgia trip for the days of PS1, PS2, GameCube, et cetera. Cool. We could hang out in the man cave and rock some Mario Kart. The problem is my affection for DG starts and ends there. I want the instrumental version of this entire thing as background music while I’m gaming with no awful amateurish bars over the top.
Here’s the compliment sandwich to close “Island Adventures” — there’s a good vibe going into this release, and there’s some good potential production wise, but the shitty filling between the bread ruins your appetite. The summary is the equivalent of Bart Simpson throwing the “at least you tried” cake into the trash, only I’d rather be Santa’s Little Helper munching on it than listen to this one again. When you try again please try much much harder.