Steve 'Flash' Juon“Wow, this release really sucks.” – Nostradamus7
While seeing this as the one and only review for “Idea of a Master Piece” on Discogs was amusing, I didn’t want to just take the prophet at his word. The real life Nostradamus was quite the prognosticator but history has shown us he was blindly guessing about future events. His believers credit the things he got right, ignore the things he got wrong, and try to reinterpret his quatrains to make them apply in ways they could never truly work. They even invent their own rules about adding and subtracting letters from the names of people and places to make their theories work. Frankly it’s preposterous.
Unfortunately in this case our mysterious seer of Discogs was indeed wise. I’ve listened to MANY Keith Thornton records over the years — good, bad, strange and on occasion even disturbing. A few have been poorly self-produced or monotonous, but few have reached the outright level of terrible heard on the song “How Long Can U Front.” When Kool Keith says “Don’t ask questions, what is this, an interview” he seemed to be anticipating the reaction the song would get. In the words of a famous meme I have SEVERAL questions.
My first question is why either Keith or the production crew known as 54-71 thought this was a good idea. “Idea of a Master Piece” is so bad that it appears to have killed their career, as they don’t have a single entry beyond this release in 2009. I understand that they are both “experimental” and “hardcore” but that shouldn’t also mean “ear piercing” and “horrendous.” The song that best describes this collaboration is “Extreme Workout” because it will make you feel like you did hot yoga while sticking red hot pokers in your ears. The audio drowns out Keith’s vocals, screaming at you like a drunken Karen on an airplane, making you wonder if these motherfuckers are real. “Obstacles forces, you know who the boss is.” Keith sees no reason to do anything but phone in his performance.
You can cast a line into this ocean anywhere you like but all you’re going to pull up are rusty tin cans and the plastic rings of a six pack. I wish I had the beers that were attached to the latter. Maybe then I could comprehend why “Number One Draft Pick” turned out the way it did. When Keith is rapping it’s a rare moment of piece on this album of sonic distortion, but between verses they attack your ears with hideous noises that make you hate your life. I question whether Keith ever heard any of the results of this album. If he did, he would have cancelled it. He’s done some bad stuff but this is beneath even his standards. It’s offensively awful.
“Idea of a Master Piece” is poorly named. No one involved can or should believe what they were doing was anything close to one. The only credit I can give this one is that it’s “art” in the sense that anything artistic causes an emotional or visceral response when perceived by an audience. I did have one. Disgust. Loathing. Pain. A desire to vomit. This is not what I want from a legend like Kool Keith.